


All Because Of You

by LifeinConfusion



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 14:12:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15798168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeinConfusion/pseuds/LifeinConfusion
Summary: Kihyun had his own angel for a time. the music they use to listen together reminds him of that.





	All Because Of You

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first complete fanfiction i've ever posted before. it was a practice in using different narrative things for me. i hope you like it. remember to please leave a comment telling me what you thought. constructive criticism is welcome. I was listening to "Songs I can't listen to" by Neon Trees while writing this.

_it’s all because of you_  
_I’ve got a list of songs I can’t listen to_  
_And it’s all because we’re through_  
_I’ve got a list of songs I can’t listen to_

Kihyun gripped his hands tightly as the gently song started to play on his ipod, he hadn't been thinking when he turned it on, he hadn't chosen his safe playlist and had just thrown it on shuffle and of course the first song was the number one song he wished to never hear again, but it was also the very last song he would ever part with.

Kihyun could perfectly remember the first time he heard the smooth beat and gentle melody of this now dreaded song. They had been laying together on his bed, kihyun had been so careful about not thinking of him since they ended, an impossibility now with this song playing. Kihyun remembers how it played out. How the song started to play and it was innocent enough they were just laying together listening until he started to sing along. His voice was so soft it made kihyun feel warm inside he couldn't help but close his eyes as he listened how the other effortlessly harmonized with the original singer of the song. He remembered the first gently hand on his cheek, his eyes fluttered open to see the side smile of the singing boy and Kihyun was captivated, the boy was an angel to him, his looks, his voice, and the softness of his lips as they pressed against Kihyun’s. It hadn’t been either of theirs first kiss but it was a kiss at the time Kihyun was sure neither of them would forget but now in the present he wasn’t sure if that was true. He knew he would never forget that kiss, he just couldn’t say the same about the other party.

Quickly he picked up his ipod and turned the song off with a frustrated sigh as he tried to banish the memories from his head. He couldn’t let those feelings up again. He had wasted enough time thinking about everything back when it happened. Kihyun got up and moved into the kitchen for once pleased to see his roommates still hadn’t learned how to clean up after themselves leaving with kihyun plenty to focus on.

 

* * *

 

 

The next occurrence was a day after the first time, maybe Kihyun has purposely done it, just thrown his ipod on shuffle again just to see where it would land and yet again it choose a song connected to the angel from Kihyun’s past. Not the same song of course but the majority of Kihyuns music was connected to his angel and he refused to delete any of it even if he couldn’t listen to him he still couldn't part with them, as if they would take all the memories with them, the good and the bad ones. This song was closer to the end. Closer to when Kihyun’s precious angel turned in to the simple human Kihyun now saw him as.

It was an up beat song, one that played at a party they went to. His angel always only had eyes for kihyun, something he never noticed till it was to late, Till it was over, Maybe if he had noticed they would still be together. But maybe they were just always fated to have ended. Kihyun had left to use the bathroom and when he had come back his angel was surrounded. He quickly moved to save him but stopped short as he noticed how much fun the other was having, he was enjoying the attention. It made kihyuns blood boil in a way he didn’t know it could. He was jealous, they had been spending less and less time together maybe kihyun wasn’t the only one he had. Maybe kihyun was just another body in the crowd surrounding him. Those were the dark thoughts that snuck into his brain, those are what made his walk over and force the other with him out of the party despite the protested “ki, what’s wrong, baby talk to me” was a plea he heard and ignored as they walked the way to Kihyuns apartment. Once they got inside kihyun let go of his hand and seemed to deflate and in the corner of his eye he saw his angel again, he walked over to Kihyuns speakers and plugged his phone in and the song started to play as he turned around and brought Kihyun close to him and slow danced to the same upbeat song that had been playing before, it confused kihyun at first before he remembered who he was with and he just let his angel dance with him. And they talked and laughed and it was almost normal again, but the next morning kihyun woke up to an empty bed but at least that time with a note.

This time kihyun let the song play out as he thought of how ridiculous it is to slow dance to such an upbeat song.

 

* * *

 

 

Kihyun heard another song he wished to forget while cleaning his closet, it was a music box he had completely forgotten about until he wound it up and the tune started.

It was 3 years into it, just a simple birthday present but it was a gift he would treasure till the end. It use to be his favorite song. Kihyun would wind up the music box and let it play for as long as it would and then he would wind it up again. His angel would jokingly complain and moan that he wished he had never bought the stupid thing for Kihyun in the first place. It was evident he didn't mean it though from the smile he would always get when he watch kihyun delicately take extra care has he wound it up again.

Kihyun picked the small box up and raised it up above his head preparing to throw it down and hopefully breaking it before he started to shake and his knees collapse under him and he fell to the ground and as he fell he again took care so not even a smudge got on the shiny glass outside of the music box.

 

* * *

 

 

Kihyun was out with friends he was having a good time, he had a few drinks and they were walking down the street looked for food or something he couldn't remember any more, and all thoughts he had were lost when he heard the first note of the song. Kihyun froze as he remembered.

The sweat, heavy breathing and the heat. It had been a summer night just a few weeks after they got together. It started out slow like the song itself did before as it continued it got faster and faster. From fluid kisses to pulling each other out of clothes hastily Kihyun could remember it all so clearly, clinging to each other in between passion. Being young and loud and not caring who heard them. Claw marks, bruises and bitemarks covered the both of them at the end and they both spent an obscene amount of time to kiss and pamper the other even though neither one was complaining. This was their first time it had been rough in multiple ways but neither would have changed anything that they did.

“-huyn! Kihyun!” his friend waved a hand in front of him trying to wake him up from his zone out. He shook his head and apologized, it had been a long day and maybe he couldn’t hold his drink as well as he use to.

 

* * *

 

 

The fast song, one song for The very beginning and for the very end. Their song.

The end came to mind first, the screaming, the fighting and the crying. Kihyun had been so hurt, but of course hurt people...hurt people. It had been a messy end, one of Kihyuns close friends had told him that he had seem Kihyuns angel, out with someone else. It had made Kihyun see red, there was already so much jealousy and mistrust between them at that point, Kihyun was so done with it he didn’t even stop and think before he acted. He put on a pair of tight pants, ones he knew his angel loved and he headed out to the clubs, once there he called his angel and asked to met, His angel easily agreed but Kihyun didn;t wait.

It was about half an hour later that Kihyun spotted his angel, devil, enter. Kihyun was inbetween two men dancing and he relished in the look he saw once he was noticed. His Angel snapped and stormed over to Kihyun and pulled him away and out of the club.

“What!? Don;t like the taste of your own medicine?!? I was just having fun! Just like you do!” Kihyun yelled. The grip on his wrist tightened

“Lets talk at home, i don’t want to cause a scene Kihyun” was the reply he got. Kihyun wouldn’t have it though he had snapped.

“What home? You mean the house of lies we’ve been living in? I’m not going back there, at least not with you.” he continued to yell, bystanders were awkwardly looking away. “I know what you do when you leave, i’m not an idiot, plus i have proof and witnesses! Don’t try and deny it.”

“Fine! Yes i’ve been seeing other people, but at least i had the decency to at least try and hide it, at least i didn’t invite you out just so you could see me with someone else!” the other yelled back he was starting to tremble. “You took it to far Kihyun…..we’re tearing each other apart, and i’m not going to stand here and pretend to be happy any more. I’m done with this.” he turned and started to walk away.

“You asshole! You’re done with it?!? That’s my line. I never want to see you again. Don’t even think about going back to the apartment, it’s under my name!” Kihyun yelled back after him as he himself started to tremble and the tears fell.

They never saw each other again.

 

Second after that was the beginning., Kihyun had been preparing a song to thing for an audition on a park bench when his angel first appeared.

He was walking passed when he heard Kihyun singing, and in his words “i was captivated! it was as if a siren was pulling me in.”

Kihyun would always roll his eyes when that was said, his angel was just joking.

What happened next though would surprise kihyun every time he thought of it, his angel had been so forward. While Kihyun was singing suddenly there was a voice joining his, complimenting it so perfectly he was shocked silent.

“Oh, sorry i didn't mean to scare you, that's just my favorite song i couldn’t help but to sing along.” he mysteries man moved closer. Kihyun was shocked all over again as he looked at the other, he was the most beautiful person Kihyun had ever laid eyes on and it was not an exaggeration.

He shook his head “its alright, i know the feeling. You have an amazing voice by the way” Kihyun complimented him still shamelessly staring, through the other didn't seem to mind as he stared right back.

“Thank you, i have to say the same about yours, may i sit?” the man asked gesturing to the empty seat next to Kihyun, who nodded and shifted a little to make more room as the man sat down.

“I’m Kihyun” he said extending his hand once the man was settled. He smiled brightly at Kihyun, it was at that second Kihyun knew he was doomed.

“I’m Minhyuk, nice to meet you.”

 

Kihyun felt the tears on his cheeks before he heard his own sobs. It hadn't been a good relationship they had been young and stupid and jealous but Kihyun couldn’t deny it. Lee Minhyuk had been the love of his life, but life is cruel and sometimes it puts the right people together at the wrong point...


End file.
